The Last Final Girl Review

The Last Final Girl
Stephen Graham Jones
Lazy Fascist Press, 2012



Having grown up inhaling VHS B-movie culture, I sank right into The Last Final Girl from that first swipe of the sword—head left dangling, blood-spattered dress. I felt sweet nostalgia just going in and being there for this long. It was like coming home.
    This is the one, the book that schools us all in that dream class: Slasher 101—shows us how it’s done, how it ought to be done on the page.
    And everything’s set-up just right: the iconic killer in a Michael Jackson mask, the soundtrack, the slasher and film references all over the place, tropes, and clues, mystery, humor, horror; this is the script-turned-novelization to an unmade slasher film, brutally aware of itself as a film (and as a novel), yet so crisp in its execution, that we walk away with the sense of having seen this film a million times before in other horror flicks, and yet, stunned by how groundbreaking this is in terms of its exploration of the boundaries.
    It’s at once vivid and alive, but so firmly holding to those constraints of what it’s trying to be and you feel the cord stretching over your throat, those jabs in the long dark.
    Jones’ sense of how to yank you by the collar with just the right dialogue, those key scenes, coupled with his in-depth control of how horror flows work well to make this story authentic both as a filmic experience—watch out for the bloody hand, the eyeholes POV, that creeping bassline—and a tightly wound, enduring novel: character-driven, layered, meaningful, prosaically hot, and overall, an intense reading experience that demands your attention.
    Like a classic film, you’ll want to watch this one again and again. I’m already craving to pull out those worn copies of Halloween IV, Friday the 13th, A Nightmare on Elm Street, My Bloody Valentine, and Scream. And if you are not well schooled in the nuances of the slasher, tune in, for Dr. Jones drops references both obvious and subtle. There will be a test. Remember, he’s the professor of this mad class. Prepare to learn how it’s done.
    And that “last final girl,” yeah, she’s worth it. She’s in there and most certainly more than you’re expecting.